Style inspo: Joan Watson (or how to dress like an adult)

I know, I know. Part of being a Rebel Gurl TM Dot Com is not giving a shit, wearing old greasy potato chip bags stapled together, etc. etc. But sometimes you want to Command Ruh-SPEKT and, like, not read as 25 anymore. Problem: fugly old-lady clothes that look joyless and unfashionable. I don’t want to look like a sorority girl turned lawyer (no offense, Elle Woods) because I’m too lazy and comfort-driven to wear heels, BUT I don’t want to look like I’ve completely given up, either.

Solution? WWJW, or “What Would Joan Wear?”

I’ve been binge-watching Elementary and Lucy Liu (aka Joan Watson)’s wardrobe is ON. POINT. It’s basically all fall style goals:

joan-watson-elementary-outfits-fashion

Here are some Dressin’ Like a Grown-Ass Woman tipz I’ve absorbed from Elementary:

joan watson elementary fashion style neckties

Neckties, tie-neck blouses, etc. are a good way to say “YO, I’m official.” (Plus you never know when you’ll need to tie someone up, right? Assuming you’re out of zipties.)

joan watson elementary fashion style

I gravitate toward tons of splotchy bright abstract colors, but Joan is the opposite: geometrics, hard lines, dark colors, neutrals BUT with some drapy (drapey?) fabrics to soften things up. (Plus her hair is always perfectly wavy as a feminine balance to what could be a cold, masculine look.)

joan watson elementary fashion style layers

Let’s return to DRAPY: Joan piles on the effortless asymmetrical moto jackets, long cardigans, and belted tunics to play with proportions and length. My wardrobe is almost babylike in its simplicity: shirt + pants, whereas hers has plenty of layers to add interest. “The eye has to travel,” as Diana Vreeland famously said, and a polo and khakis gives those poor ole eyes no destination!

joan watson elementary fashion style shoes

Two words: ANKLE. BOOTS. Joan (or the show’s fashion stylist, rather) is fond of chunky heeled ankle boots, and for good reason: They’re killer with black tights/leggings and flippy skirts, or just leggings and a tunic. Pass on the heel, personally, but you can get the same effect with a good chelsea boot or even loafers for that matter. No sneakers!

And if you want to straight-up steal her style, there’s always WornonTV.com, a blessing/curse (and from whence many of these pics came). Stay classy, Watson!

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WHY MAXIMALISM RULES

yay maximalism!

There are soooo many minimalist blogs. Have white walls! Have a capsule wardrobe! Declutter! Have a uniform! Scan your important documents and get rid of everything!

I heard the siren song. Boy, did I hear it. I rushed to Goodwill with overflowing bags like I was purging the evil from my dark, dark soul.

There was only one problem.

I’m not a minimalist.

I’M A MAXIMALIST! I love bright colors and tons of chintzy vintage bracelets and layers of scarves and posters on top of wallpaper on top of a collage. Once I read that a style blogger (Arabelle Sicardi? Tavi?) liked to sleep in her closet on a huge pile of clothes and was like Mmm, word. Sounds awesome. Grey Gardens is rad. OK, hoarders kind of make me anxious, but maximalism itself deserves better than the bad rap it gets. HERE IS WHY.

1. Simplicity is boring.

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Aussies are crushing it

Do you ever just wanna move to a different continent? Say Australia?

I keep seeing brands and artists from there that just make my heart burst. Common themes: happy bright colors, a healthy sprinkling of zaniness and/or humor, and a lack of pretension. Something to do with the sun and vibrant wildlife?

Castle & Things

Gorgeous cut-out letters and shapes on art, bedding, and more. From their site: “CASTLE loves having a bit of fun. We love color and whimsy…We love spots and fluro and pink and yellow and orange and grey and love hearts and flowers and paint and felt and everything that POPS around in our studio. If it’s fun we love it.” Can I please be friends with them (and do the bla-bla)? OK COOL

castle & things
You be perfection on two sexy legs. via castle & things

Gorman

Clothing and accessories in quirky prints with lotsa pink, yellow, and baby blue. I want to buy ALL THE THINGS.

Gorman Australia
via gormanshop.com.au
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How to decorate with party supplies

party supply room decorations

Do you worship at the temple of kitsch? (Me too–sorry I never introduced myself.) Then you know one of the best and most magical places ever is ~*THA PARTY SUPPLY STORE*~. Bright, glitzy, garish colors! Celebration! Unlimited tacky factor! It’s nonstop sensory overload with a heavy helping of anticipation and excitement, ‘cause you’re (probably) planning something BIG. Unless you’re me, and you just wanna decorate on the cheap with maximum glitter and bad taste. (Insert cheesy lyrics about partying every day.)

My goal is basically to have someone come over, look around in surprise, and ask, “Oh, did you just have a party?” and then I’ll be like, naw, it’s always like this. (I would toss glitter on my floor and leave it year-round if my cat wouldn’t try to eat it.) Granted, some party doo-daws are only designed to last a couple hours, but that’s about how often I change my mind and decide to redecorate anyway.

So where to start? Party stores are usually organized by theme. I alternate between dreaming of a sunny SoCal paradise and burrowing into a glittery pile of unicorn barf, so I gravitate toward the “luau” and “glam” sections (my name on a Hollywood walk of fame star? Um yes please), but other common ones are Wild West, dinosaurs, Mardi Gras, and most commercialized major holidays (sorry, Arbor Day). Whatever your fave holiday is, start from there and see what sparks your fancy. The biggest secret in the world is–SHH–you don’t need a party to decorate like you’re having one. Who says only certain days deserve unicorn-colored fringe?

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Style inspo: Gwen Stefani, “Simple Kind of Life”

At least a decade before it was cool, Gwen Stefani was rocking bubblegum pink hair in the 2000 music video for “Simple Kind of Life.” I grew up Sans MTV (always a favorite excuse for my maladjustment) and only recently watched the vid. And, um, it’s awesome! (Mostly. Why the fuck is that baby wearing so much eyeliner?!) Marie Antoinette vibez, ’90s alt-princess vibez, and killer hair, PLUS the perfect angsty heartbreak of the song itself. Something about the way she sings “You seem like/you’d be a good dad” is coy and flirty yet desperate and almost, gasp, TRAGIC. Just the feeling of grasping, of something slipping through your fingers: happiness? what you imagined adulthood and love would be? It makes me want to curl up in a ball and time-travel back to the ’90s. ALL THE FEELS!

(p.s. the image quality isn’t great because the video is so old. be thankful for high-def, kids.)

gwen stefani pink hairgwen stefani pink hair simple kind of life music video no doubt

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